I Became a Writer Accidentally on Purpose

When I was ready to make choices concerning my career path I was surprised to find that some choices were chosen for me, based not on what I could do, but for what I couldn’t do. 

When it was time to make a career choice,

I had to decide who I wanted to be,

For each occupation has its own voice,

And I wanted the spotlight shining on me,

Career Choice #1

I loved languages and I took great pride,

Spanish, German, and Latin were on my list,

If I said I was diligent in my studies, then I lied,

But I enjoyed language structures, and I insist,

That some of the sounds tangled my tongue,

Until the day I ventured into the language lab,

When I heard the teacher describing to everyone,

(My recorded voice was booming and I felt his stab),

He remarked, “He’s terrible with his pronunciations,”

I had other career choices, this one wouldn’t be missed,

So cross off language translator from my list,

Career Choice #2

I often woke up excited about the new day,

Songs would be bursting from my lips,

Carpe diem! It didn’t matter work or play,

The whole world was at my fingertips,

Perhaps singing would be a great career too,

But that thought was soon nipped in the bud,

When my career in singing all fell through,

Ostracized and disgraced, my name was mud,

In mid-song the choir director brought us to a halt,

She loudly announced, “Someone’s off key,”

“We can’t sing this cantata because of someone’s fault,

I wasn’t worried because I knew it wasn’t me,

Then she said, “That voice is on this side,”

She put us in groups to narrow it down,

Finally she was next to me, and I couldn’t hide,

She said, “I’ve finally located that awful sound,”

I could still sing for part of my everyday fun,

But I knew my singing career was totally done,

Career Choice #3

Like many high school boys I was ready to perform,

I wanted riches and fame, my name up in lights,

I did very well in sports, I was ahead of the norm,

I knew what was expected, I’d even wear tights,

My teams weren’t exceptional, although we did well,

One championship or two, the stats weren’t great,

If I would go to the next level, only time would tell,

But I found out the results of my professional fate,

“Son, there are a few factors holding you back,

“You need to be bigger, stronger, faster, just for a start,

And if you had a lot more talent the money we’d stack,”

So, no pro sports for me, just break my heart,

Choice number three was out of my league,

I was tired of losing but I wasn’t fatigued,

Career Choices (To be continued)

"I'm Not a Madman!"

“ I’m Not a Madman!”

I was convinced it was a tremendous act of fate,

When assigned an interview that would air at eight,

I would interview a murderer as his doctor studied him,

But he watched me as he addressed his doctor’s latest whim,

The recorded interview went as follows,

As he tried to prove to us his words weren’t hollow:

“How can I convince you that she is there in my dreams?

Either I’m a liar or a madman it seems,

But wait! Didn’t I just tell you about your uncle, Dr. Thoreau?

Where do you think I got that information, I want to know?”

“The woman in green told me about him and others too,

She travels in both worlds, even if you think that’s taboo,

Whispering in my ear until the break of dawn,

Rarely do I sleep, you see how my face is drawn?”

While she’s in your world would you find her and talk?

Ask her to stay out of my dreams, no longer should she stalk,

Yes, I think she’s beautiful and I’d like to sample her charms,

But she only smiles and teases me, never in my arms,”

“You’ll see, you’ll see, that’s all you ever answer me,

If you don’t believe me, how can I ever be free?

I’m not a liar, you know I always tell you every fact,

Don’t shake your head, you know that makes me react,”

“You think these bindings will hold me if I choose to leave?

Dr. Thoreau, if I broke loose you’d have so much to grieve,

Do I need a sedative so I can finally get some rest?

I’m afraid of the woman in green, what else do you suggest?”

“You’ll consult with the other doctors and hear what they say?

You’ll post a guard outside my door to watch both night and day?

You think someone is crazy, and for once we finally agree,

Wait, you’ve got this wrong, the crazy one isn’t me,”

“I see the woman in green at night when she checks the fluids bag,

I pretend that I’m sleeping, I’m good but I won’t brag,

One of these nights she’ll stop to whisper in my ear,

 I’ll leap up and grab her, and her eyes will show fear,”

“Her days of walking in a shadowy world will be done,

And I will keep her as my proof of a trophy won,

Dr. Thoreau, you’ll be surprised to see that I don’t lie,

And dreams that are real to me can sometimes die,”

“You’ll know for an instant that a madman I cannot be,

Then you’ll join the woman in green and I’ll be free,

Hiding in shadows, waiting for someone alone to sleep,

In the middle of the night, by her bedside I will creep,”

“Whispering in her ear until the break of day,

Waiting until she wakes and asks me to stay,

She will love me forever to see I’m not a dream,

Unless she’s a madwoman and decides to scream,”

“I’m not a madman,” he told me confidentially,

“After you’ve heard my story, I think you’ll agree,”

He waited for my opinion, watching my eyes,

“Just tell me the truth, I don’t want to hear lies,”

His bindings appeared secure, he couldn’t lunge,

Without much hesitation, I took the plunge,

“No one will tell you because it doesn’t matter,

But you’re crazy all right, crazy as a mad hatter,”

He coughed, then grinned, and began to cackle,

“It wouldn’t take much to get rid of these shackles,

One of these days I’ll find a way to be free,

I’ll leave you alone because you are honest with me,”

“I don’t trust Dr. Thoreau, he hides behind words,

Or the other doctors, who are like angry birds,

Neither do I enjoy the shots that make me dream,

That’s one of the reasons I dislike the woman in green,”

My time was up, I had recorded his views,

I had everything I needed to make the local news,

“So long,” I said, “Just stay out of trouble,

Every wild thing you do makes your time double,”

I was out of the parking lot and onto the street,

When the radio station called me about a disturbing feat,

A dangerous man had escaped the cell he was in,

Did I know where he was going? Or any of his kin?

I thought without asking, the man on the loose,

Was looking for vengeance while avoiding the noose,

It all happened so quickly he couldn’t get far,

But I hope you thoroughly check inside your car,

My interview will be aired for all to see,

He’s considered armed and dangerous, even to me,

Police are swarming like bees from a hive,

His picture is shown with the words, Dead or Alive,

He’s not a liar if you believe what he said,

But his lies are true, and they’re all in his head,

He might tweet you or Google his brother,

Use his mobile device to contact some other,

He’s got a few quirks, and he’s just a little mean,

I don’t think he likes anyone who’s wearing green,

A master of disguises, he’s hard to describe well,

How long he remains free, only time will tell,

He might leave the area and rebuild his past,

He might find love with a marriage that lasts,

Become an outstanding citizen that everyone knows,

Live on a street with trees lined in rows,

I’m only guessing when I predict his life,

 I’m hoping he will change from violence and strife,

But he’s a liar and a madman, he can’t change a lot,

Unless you believe a leopard can change his spots.

"Skipping Pebbles Through Life"

Skipping Pebbles

One day as I traveled through the woods,

I saw an ancient man sitting by a pond,

I wanted directions to leave the woods behind,

But he challenged me to think beyond,

“It’s easy to get lost in the woods,” he said,

“Where do you want to be?”

“I’m off to make my mark on the world,

And discover my destiny,”

His eyes glowed with a strange fire,

As he smiled and replied with a deep sigh,

“You’re young, with so much to learn,

But I know you need to try,”

With a grand gesture he pointed to the pond,

“I’ll show you what a pebble can teach,

About your impact on the world,

And all those goals you think you’ll reach,”

“First, don’t think you’re so important,

You’re like a pebble dropped in a pond,

See the rings this pebble made?

Just listen quietly before you respond,”

“Your influence spreads outward,

Making several concentric rings,

Your impact lasts just a short while,

 Before the angels sing,”

“What if I am flat and make several skips?

I’ll cover more area on my way,

There are several places where I’ll touch,

Leaving several circles on display,”

“But what difference will you really make?

Look, as I skip this stone across the pond,

See the rings that are left behind?

Now they are going, going, gone,”

“Just like life’s fleeting ambitious dreams,

They’re here for the moment but gone in a flash,

Goals that you accomplish only for yourself,

Are forgotten after the splash,”

“But a pebble you throw for someone else,

Becomes more than a rock you fling,

It allows them to rise above the pond,

And helps them find their wings,”

“So as you go to discover your destiny,

Remember the pebbles tossed across the pond,

And the ripples they leave behind,

If you want to leave a mark you have to reach beyond,”

“And help others become more than they are,

Allow them to dream of love and things,

To escape that which holds them down,

And fly with new-found wings,”

He waved goodbye as I started forth,

A purpose showing in each step,

I promised to help others fly above,

And it’s a promise I have kept,

Now when I look across a pond,

And see the surface smooth as glass,

I feel within me there is a skipping stone,

But calmly I let the moment pass,

There are opportunities to make my splash,

And I could make my world, all about me,

But I’ve chosen to lift others up,

That is my chosen destiny.

Where Did Winter Go?

Just when I thought I was tired of the snow,

Along came summer temperatures, winter where did you go?

I didn’t have to worry about the grass under the snow,

Now I can hear it growing, and winter where did you go?

When the cold was here, I needed several layers to don,

Now clothing is minimal, it’s clear that winter has gone,

But the trees are happy with their foliage of green,

And animals are dancing without fear of being seen,

If the forest is happy, why should I complain?

I enjoy the summer’s beauty, including the torrential rain,

I need several weeks of transition, I think it’s called spring,

Where are the mild temperatures, the beauty and everything?

But the real truth I can’t deny, has nothing to do with fate,

It seems I get myself in a bind because I procrastinate,

A few things have me bothered, I’ve really begun to sweat,

Things that broke last year haven’t been repaired yet,

I wouldn’t have to fix anything if we still had winter’s cold,

And winter clothing that’s hanging yet, I wouldn’t have to fold,

Summer has come on so fast, I haven’t had time to think,

There’s mowing, cleaning, etc, and my ac is on the blink,

I’ll talk to that author who wrote “Midsummer Night’s Dream”,

He made it sound like summer’s fun, while I just want to scream,

Do you think he might listen while I go through my list of woe?

 Or am I wasting my time when I ask him, “Where did winter go?”

"You're Ready to Touch the Sky"

For The Student Who’s Graduating

Students, there’s a big scary world out there,

Responsibilities on your shoulders rest, decisions to be made,

And discoveries to claim if you but dare,

Goals to reach or do nothing and let your dreams fade,

There are challenges you’ve already met,

With the support of family and friends,

But there are new goals that haven’t been set,

And your dreams have beginnings but no ends,

You’ll finish what others thought was an impossible task,

You won’t let this difficult world hold you back,

You’ll accomplish much more than the world might ask,

You’ve been honing your skills and none do you lack,

This world has had an awkward past,

Expect challenges and feelings of doubt,

Be prepared the best you can, life comes at you fast,

And the things you’ve planned may not turn out,

Obstacles might be placed in your path,

But don’t let that stop you from your quest,

Other ways exist from A to B, if you’ve done your math,

Education is just one part; life itself is the final test,

It’s a big intriguing world out there,

Take the first step and hold your head high,

Right or wrong, be brave, do everything with flair,

The world is yours if you choose to touch the sky.

"That's What Love Do!"

“If you could only go there,

soaking up the atmosphere,

 feeling the magic in the beat,

 the thump of the bass stirring up heat,

 dancing heart to heart and cheek to cheek,

 the bold reaching out for the mild and meek,

 it's a place that casts a spell,

Come and go with me, I know it well.”

I can still hear her words as she invited me to come listen to her play.  Her eyes invited me a second time, teasing, offering more than moments of listening pleasure.  Erika stopped in often where I worked, watching me wait on customers, smiling whenever I glanced her way.  When that customer left she would come up to the counter and ask if I could help her find a tool of some kind. 

She drew a crowd almost every time she sauntered in, weaving around the other salesmen, ignoring their eager pleas of assistance. She was slim and curvy, her jeans tight, her ample breasts straining against the fabric of her blouse.  She always kept two buttons undone, just to keep the men and boys at her beck and call. I tried to ignore her.  I could imagine the saliva dripping from their mouths. 

Perhaps that was why she was so persistent. Erika would lean forward, placing both elbows on the counter, her eyes focused on me, watching for a reaction of any kind. She was aware of the silence as the men held their breaths hoping that the fabric might tear, or Erika might jiggle in some way.

I waved them all away, at least out of earshot.  “Okay, Erika, what do you want this time?”

“Come out tonight, Bobby, and listen to our band.  You’ll be glad you did.”  “If I go tonight you won’t bother me anymore?”

 “I promise, Bobby.” 

“But what about your husband?”  They were still together as far as I knew.

“We’re in a trial separation.  He said he doesn’t care.  Anyway, what does it matter?  I’m tired of his obsessive behavior.  I don’t belong to him. As far as I’m concerned we’re through.”  She stared at me. “Are you going to be there or not?”

“Okay.  But just this once.”   She smiled broadly, turned and walked out, every step accentuated, pretending to be oblivious to all the wolves hiding in the aisles. 

They rushed to me, wanting to know every juicy detail, especially since Erika was smiling on her way out.  I told them nothing, content to let them conjecture and imagine, their heads full of takes and retakes of scenes right out of Hollywood.

“I’d sure like to be in his shoes,” a young associate said loudly.

  One of the ones who had stared the most muttered, “She’s nothing but trouble. Bobby’s done good to stay away from her.”

 He didn’t know I was going to see her tonight.

Erika usually played guitar and sang three or four songs, but sometimes she would sing one or two extra, if there was a special occasion.  Tonight she had already downed a few rum and colas and was feeling good. She saw me enter and immediately she took charge of the band, running through several riffs and songs that had furious flourishes, evidently to impress me. 

The band took a break and Erika came to my table. “Well, what did you think?” she asked. 

“I want something slower and easier to dance to.” 

She shrugged.  Soon she started singing “I Love Rainy Nights” and followed with “Black Velvet”.  I stood on the dance floor swaying slowly. A young woman wrapped her arms around me, her head on my chest. Erika put her guitar away. She came off the stage and pulled the woman away.”He’s with me,” she said coldly.

“I need a breath of fresh air,” she said as she led me outside.  “Now what was that all about?” she asked.

“I wanted to dance,” I said bluntly.  “You’re married and I don’t belong to you so what’s the problem?”  I knew she was jealous. She was shaking, angry at me, angry at the girl, angry at the world, just angry because she had no control over the situation.

“I need a drink,” she said, “so I can cool down.”  I started towards the bar. “Don’t buy me one. The bartender will give me as many as I ask for.”  Jake, the bartender, saw her coming and began mixing a drink.  “I want this one to be a double,” she said flatly. “I need something strong.” 

She turned to me. “Dance with whoever you want. Just don’t take anybody home. The band will be done in about an hour.  I want to see you after that.” 

I danced with several women, doing the two step around the room, the slide, and a few line dances to fill the time.  I got a few offers to go somewhere else for drinks, to share  coffee, take someone home, and numbers to call.  They were very friendly, one and all.  I collected rainchecks and phone numbers and dates for other times. Then Erika showed up and they all scattered.  “Let’s go to the park by your apartment.  We can talk without being interrupted.”   

Erika had always been rebellious and claimed she lived in outlaw country.  I wasn’t sure what she wanted to talk about but I was pretty sure it wasn’t about flowers and songs.

Outside it was raining, hard and steady. We were both drenched when we  climbed into my truck.  She glanced over and then slid next to me, her warmth stirring me, filling me with anticipated pleasure.  She was staring, her eyes large and focused.  They were intensely hypnotic, and strangely compelling.  The rain was making it difficult to focus on the white lines of my lane, and she was not helping. If I looked one more second I was sure I would lose control of my truck and my body. I shivered and clung to the wheel. She giggled as if I had just touched her in some sensitive spot.  Involuntarily, parts of my body were reacting to her voice, her smile, and her touch. By now her fingers were inside my shirt, dancing across my chest while her tongue played with my ear.

I didn’t intend for anything to happen.  I thought I could resist her. “Just say no,” I told myself. She didn’t really want to talk. When her blouse came off my resistance ceased. Helpless to resist, I became a willing partner.  She was wild and passionate, eager to please, and wanting release. I was surprised by my own needy but powerful response.

We held each other for a long time, just listening to the rain, before we dressed and talked.  Erika was adamant she wanted to be with me and not her husband.  “When are you going to leave him?” I asked.

“Soon,” she replied. “I can’t leave Wes right now.  He’s had some bad luck lately.  When he gets everything going again, then I’ll leave.”

There was not much to talk about after that so we just cuddled for awhile. Finally I said, “I need to get you home.”  Erika glared at me but said nothing as I drove the rainy roads, down the lane to her house, and pulled to a stop. 

The porch lights snapped on, and I felt very conspicuous.  Wes stepped out onto the porch and started towards the truck.  “This could be trouble,” I muttered.  But Wes just waved and said, “Thanks for bringing her home.  I worry about her when she’s late and I know she’s been drinking.” 

This unnerved me. I was expecting rage and jealousy. I’m not sure if I wanted him to be carrying a rifle or handgun, but to be friendly just seemed odd.  

Wes gave Erika a hug and ushered her inside. I sat for a minute more trying to comprehend, and I left still shaking my head.

The next week Erika came to the store several times just to say hi, to flirt, and give me a hug and a kiss.  She wasn’t hiding our relationship. Everything was in the open. She told everyone her marriage was over, except for the shouting.

We met several times a week, and always on weekends.  It was the same story every time.  We didn’t go out to eat, go to the movies, or attempt to go on any normal dates.  After dancing and music, we would park or go to my apartment.  It was clear nothing more was expected or wanted.  Gradually I began insisting I wanted more from the relationship.  Without realizing it I was falling into love.

I know it sounded strange so I never tried explaining it to anyone. I resented taking her home and turning her over to her husband.  This relationship had to change.  I was tired of fighting my conscience, tired of sharing but Erika refused to listen. She kept saying, “This is not a good time for Wes. He’s struggling with so many things.”

Finally I said, “You have to make a choice.  It’s either Wes or me.” She looked at me as if I had lost my mind. Then she smiled. “Okay, it’s time to make some changes. Be patient, though.”

I didn’t hear from her for several weeks. I tried to give her time to get her life straightened out.  I was working in the backroom putting away supplies when another employee said, “Bobby, you have a customer out front.”

I was excited, expecting to see Erika.  Instead it was Wes, looking haggard and worried. “Bobby, Erika is all I really have and all I really wanted.  When she was with you I knew it was just a fling but she always came home.  Now she’s been gone for almost three days.  I can’t sleep.  I can’t eat.  I can’t live without her.  Do you know where she is? I just want her safe at home.” 

Before me was a broken man, his self esteem destroyed but his love intact.  I couldn’t turn him away.  “Wes, I’ll help you search.”

Together we searched Erika’s hangouts and sought help from her friends.  At first our search was fruitless. Then someone from her band gave us a name and an address. Eventually we found her walking barefoot down a side street, heading home.  She claimed she was tired of being pressured so she had found a new boyfriend. He was not so nice.  He had slapped her a few times and refused to take her home. When he wasn’t watching she had made her getaway.

She was pleased to see Wes but she frowned when she saw me. “Wes, I just want to go home and get cleaned up.  I want to rest and cuddle with you.”

I drove them home in silence.  Wes watched Erika go inside the house before he said wearily, “Erika is an alcoholic and unfaithful. She’s always been like that since I found her years ago.  I love her and it’s my job to see that she’s taken care of.  I’m the only real home she knows.  She’ll always come back. She needs me too.”

Suddenly it was all very clear.  Wes and Erika were two desperate needy people, and in their own weird way were meant for each other.  I didn’t have an answer for Wes for I loved her too.  At that moment my plans for the future changed and I decided to stick around and keep watch over both of them.  I was the only sane one of the bunch. You might think it’s weird but it makes sense to me.  That’s what love do.

Before You Were Born

She Loved You Before You Were Born!

Month after month she revels in the thought,

That her body contains what love had wrought,

She knows the changes that are taking place,

Features are forming, a beating heart, fingers and face,

Her own body is adjusting for new growth as well,

Preparing a temporary home for this life to dwell,

But most of all are the effects on her heart,

Forming emotional attachments right from the start,

Her heart is rapidly expanding as her child grows,

Her life will be changed forever as she already knows,

Her love will continue growing after the baby arrives,

Whatever happens around her, her love thrives,

She has loved you long before she knew your name,

Knowing the pain to come she wanted you the same,

Her love has developed and matured in every way,

For a mother’s love does not spring forth in a day,

When the delivery is over and she holds you in her arms,

She smiles and rambles on about your many charms,

Unconditional love that radiates about the room,

Unconditional love that dispels pain and gloom,

Finding inner strength she wasn’t aware she had,

Born of labor and love, she wanted a miracle so bad,

You are still that miracle, walking around on display,

The day you were born was her special Mother’s Day!