Me and My Honey

He said, “The sun is shining and I’ve got a notion,

We’ll lie on a blanket and slap on some lotion,

We’ll pretend we’re at some fabulous beach,

I’ll rub you in places you can’t reach,

Winter is over and I’m raring to go,

I built up my energy while shoveling snow,

I got tired of the cold and being kept in,

I’m ready for fresh air and I want to see skin,”

She said, “Keep your eyes in their sockets and please don’t push,

I’m ready for spring and I don’t want to rush,

Spring is beautiful and I’m afraid I’ll miss much,

I don’t want you to bother me so please don’t touch,

The breeze is sighing as it twists through the trees,

I want to enjoy this afternoon so no heavy breathing please,

You’re being silly to be acting like this,

I know you’ll never be satisfied with just one kiss,”

He said, “I’ve spent most of my life in the fields and woods,

Farming, fishing, and hunting, learning life is good,

And after a day in the office my energy is spent,

I think I’ll go downtown, I need to vent,”

She said, “You’re going inside because I ruined your fun?

I thought it would be enough to just share the sun,

You came out here because you wanted to be near me,

Look around, there’s so much nature to see,”

She said, “It’s time for dinner, I’ll make you some food,”

He said, “I’m not hungry, I’m just not in the mood,”

She said, “Then I’ll go with you, I don’t want to be alone,”

He said, “Call one of your friends, you’re always on the phone,”

She said, “That was uncalled for, it was downright mean,

I think you’re the meanest man I’ve ever seen,”

He said, “You’re not the angel I asked for from up above,

You don’t treat me well and you don’t show love,”

Ah, newlyweds, we had so much to learn,

We started with love and had pride at every turn,

Now me and my honey know how to relate,

As long as I stay here and she stays in her state,

We’ll talk once in awhile on the telephone,

Because I get tired of this house and being alone,

Me and my honey just couldn’t stay together,

We just weren’t two birds of a feather,

She says she still cares about me,

I miss her too, but we can’t agree,

About how to get along in each other’s company,

And life goes on, both of us living in misery,

I can’t live with her and I can’t live without,

Is that what real love is all about?

There must be something I can do,

But at this moment in time I haven’t got a clue.