When A Parent Leaves

My daughter’s tears greet me,

So I decide to be grimly silent,

Rather than probe and see,

What she harbors and doesn’t vent,

Perhaps this time it’s much the same,

With time suspended in her world,

I think she’ll tell me I am to blame,

For all the troubles that were unfurled,

Nothing is spoken as she stares,

While the tension between us builds,

Should I tell her I still care,

And try to break through her tearful shield?

Her teddy bear is tight within her grasp,

As she endures time that slips away,

All the reasons I left are under clasp,

Waiting to be discussed on another day.

Give Me Time To Earn My Wings

Are you the angel I talk to at night?

You’re right at my side when I turn out the light,

I encourage you to listen but I ignore what you say,

And yet you’re expected to guide me the “right” way,

I should be quiet for awhile and listen to you,

But I’m only human, so what else can I do?

I should be wiser and hold your words dear,

Because you speak the truth, I should have nothing to fear,

When you leave for a moment even in the night,

My heart watches for you, and keeps you in sight,

Are you the angel that hovers during the day?

Fanning me with your wings, keeping the heat away,

You’re playful as you flit and twirl around,

While I can only imagine my feet off the ground,

You’re forgiving when my words hurt deep,

 I don’t really want to give you reasons to weep,

But you’re one of the angels assigned to me,

Shielding me from demons protectively,

They’re always close by, urging me to run,

“Escape from your angel and have some fun,”

“Freely enjoying without someone holding you back,”

“You don’t have to stay on that one way track,”

The demons forget I’ve walked on that side,

I’ve scars and bruises all over my pride,

I eluded my angels while demons preened my vanity,

But like a prodigal son I returned to my sanity,

Worse for the wear, out of the muck and grime,

I stay closer to my angels, so much wiser this time,

I don’t always listen to those angelic voices,

And I blame only myself for unwise choices,

My angels guide me to those in need across the land,

And show me ways my heart can expand,

Are you one of those angels who’s constantly sharing,

And teaching me ways I can still be caring?

Whether an angel extraordinaire and wise,

Or still earning your wings while in human guise,

You’ve been patiently waiting while wisdom I acquire,

Becoming steel at last, hardened by the fire,

So if you’re my personal angel, or one of a troop,

Make way, I’m trying, to become one of your group,

For I like angels, butterflies, and fluttery things,

Just give me time to earn my wings.

Ben

Ben, a young boy from India, wearing a scarf of red,

Stares intently and shakes his head,

“I’m full of love and curiosity,

Adopted when small even though the agency,

 Thought for sure I might be,

Difficult to place for it was agreed,

I could be malformed, for no one had a clue,

That I was as normal as you,

It was thought I might not make it,

Because I was so tiny I could fit,

In a shoe box, but I grew,

Changing the life I once knew,

And with lots of fresh air,

Good nutrition and loving care,

My adoptive parents gave

Me love which my life it saved,

 

It was what I wanted and needed,

And through the years I proceeded,

To just be a unique, growing young lad,

Usually good, but sometimes bad,

It was plain to see that I was part of a family,

That loves the world and especially me,

My parents call me their joy,

For I’ m bright, happy, and all boy,

Now in my portrait I watch for visitors, a few steps up the stair,

Does my family know I’m here? Perhaps they’re not aware.”

Frozen in Ice (Part Four, The Conclusion)

Frozen In Ice ( Part Four)

Was there any way she could be satisfied and find ways to cope?

Was her love so shallow that nothing could make her feel?

Or had her marriage deteriorated so much, there was no hope?

Had her imagination confused imaginary love for one that was real?

Could she settle for her family? Which meant work and no play,

Her husband was security, but offered little romance and no spice,

Was she willing to risk tomorrow for the pleasures of today,

Or stay in her long-time marriage, her heart frozen in ice?

When her husband confronted her, he’d had some time to think,

She wept and sobbed profusely, and said she didn’t want to live,

He said, “We’ll get though this together, we’ll repair the broken link,

We’ll keep our heads held high, and both of us have much to forgive,”

But Rhonda could imagine the vicious rumors she would have to face,

“Our marriage is dead, there’s no excitement and I can’t endure another day,”

Behind her back her friends would laugh, none would give her any grace,

“I love you,” she told her husband, “but only in a superficial way,”

 “I know it will be difficult,” he said, “but I know we can make it work,

It won’t be easy to undo the anger, the hurts, the fear, the blame,

If we don’t neglect each other, and our promises we do not shirk,

If we just share our feelings, our love will have a chance to flame,”

He wanted to be understanding, he wanted this marriage to succeed,

But Rhonda had tasted the wild life, pleasure had opened the gate,

“I’ve been too confined at home,” she stated, “my emotions have been freed,

Someday I might be the wife for you, but for now I want to date,”

Rhonda moved to the city, where she could start her life anew,

Rhonda is much happier now, her new job is better too,

She’s discovering her inner self again, which was long overdue,

She isn’t accountable to anyone, she does what she wants to do,

Her husband and kids struggle on, doing their very best,

They’ve become a closer family group, on each other they rely,

They don’t talk often about their mom, those thoughts are suppressed,

In the evenings, when their chores are done, they sit around and cry.

Frozen in Ice (Part Three)

In the wee hours David took her home, but he didn’t wait around,

The house was dark, not even one light, to welcome her return,

She went from room to room, but no one could be found,

If her husband and children were gone, where could she turn?

She found a note on the kitchen table, upon it was written her name,

“The kids are safe at your mother’s, but I decided to take a trip,

One of my friends went to the dance, he told me of your shame,

I couldn’t believe my wife, my angel, had finally lost her grip,”

“I’m sorry you don’t love me anymore, I’m sorry I let you down,

I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, I need some space to live,

I wanted to discuss this all with you, but you brought your love to town,

I know I won’t forget this night, but I’m trying hard to forgive,”

Rhonda’s heart was pounding as reality struck her with terrible force,

She had always held her husband accountable for every small mistake,

Forgiveness was not her strong point and now she was filled with remorse,

Could he ever forgive her for what she’d done, what action would he take?

Emotionally and physically she had neglected her husband’s needs,

In return, he had numbed himself to all matters of the heart,

Was it too late to repair their love and forgive any wayward deeds?

Rhonda was ready for counseling, to give her marriage a new start,

Her husband was not sure that he was willing to reconcile,

Their relationship was empty, love had leaked slowly away,

He, too, had felt neglected, they had not made love for awhile,

Could he forgive her? Or did he need to make her pay?

There are consequences for her actions, she’s lost her self-respect,

She’d like to forget and forgive herself, for the night she lost control,

But David’s face often appears, when she’s lonely and feels neglect,

And her face flames with sudden rush, as she remembers his body bold,

Did she really mean forever, that she would never do any wrong?

Oh, the decisions she has to make, to keep from going back,

Is it worth all the work to keep her relationship strong?

Or should she take the easy way out, and get the love she lacks?

(To Be Continued)

Frozen in Ice (Part Two)

He led her to his truck, and then quickly to a nearby motel,

Slow and easy he stirred her embers into a raging fire,

Filling her needs with practiced deeds, in ways she would never tell,

Then he said, “It’s time for you to go, though your body I still admire,”

For the first time since she had ventured to seek fun in the town,

Did she remember her husband and kids at home,

She wanted her normal life where peace and quiet were found,

“If only they will take me back, no longer will I roam,”

The consequences of her actions were terrible to comprehend,

It was too late to take back the wantonness she had displayed,

What could she say to justify herself? “Don’t worry, he’s just a friend,”

It was easier to blame her husband for the choices she had made,

It was then she began considering her husband’s reaction,

“He’s a good man, and he works hard to provide for us,

He just takes me for granted, and if he had paid any fraction

Of his time on romance, there wouldn’t be anything to discuss,”

“He’s the reason I was starved for attention and had to go out,”

Just thinking that made her angry all over again, “He doesn’t care,”

But her guilt was building up inside, filling her with pain and doubt,

“Will he take me back?  Will he know? How much should I share?”

David took her back to the dance, to see if her friend was there,

But she was gone, the place was closed, and Rhonda was quite upset,

From the shadows she heard a man’s voice, booming for all to hear,

“Rhonda, it looks like you’ve been rode hard and put away wet,”

That voice, she recognized it, it was a friend she knew from church,

“You’re not as good as you claimed to be,” he said with a sneer,

“I see you’ve been playing around, and left your husband in the lurch,

 But I won’t tell, if you share with me, I’ll even call you dear,”

He laughed again, a guttural laugh, and approached in the light,

She shrank back in horror, as her friend whispered her name,

Rhonda grabbed David’s arm, “Let’s go, before he wants to fight!”

But her real fear was everyone would hear, and all would know her shame,

(To Be Continued)

"Be Aware"

I know why she glares,

But I do not dare,

Challenge that penetrating gaze,

Her crisp dress of white,

Contrasts sharply in the light,

With the blood from her lips,

And from her fingertips,

She admonishes, “Be aware,”

From the past she stares,

Remembering the students running,

And the gunman’s cunning,

Herding the hostages up the stairs,

Having caught them unawares,

Fingers clutched, she is still tense,

None of the shots made much sense,

So she sits with angry glare,

Remembering all that happened there,

A portrait changed by the artist’s flair.